Merch for comedians, made from the material.
The range starts from the lines your audience already says back to you. We design it, fund it and run it: in the store all year, and at the table after the show.
ReviewedWhat we run for a comedian
A comedian’s range starts with the material. The line the room says before you reach the end of it, the character with a name, the title of the tour: the audience knows each of them already. We build the range from those, and you approve every piece before it goes on sale.
“You had to be there.”
- The tee
Set large, to be read from across a bar.
- The mug
The same line at a lower price, for the buyer who does not want a shirt.
- The poster
The tour poster, with the line as its title. A short run is signed.
A sample line, not taken from any act. The three drawings are the tee, the quote mug and the signed poster on our homepage.
What the range is made from
- Lines from the special
- The ones people quote back at you. One line can carry a tee, a mug and a poster, as above.
- Characters and running bits
- A character with a name, or a bit that runs through the hour, can carry a small collection of its own.
- The tour poster
- Every tour has a title and a poster. The poster is a product, and its artwork is the tee for that tour.
- Signed pieces
- A short, numbered run that you sign. We sell it as a product, first come, first served, and never as a prize draw.
We run the rest: the store, the printing, the customer service and the advertising.
The comedy table
A comedy audience comes for one night, sits for the whole of it and leaves together. So the table has two short windows: while people find their seats, and the minutes after the show. What changes between a club and a theatre is how those windows run.
| On the night | A club | A theatre |
|---|---|---|
| The room | Under 500 seats | 500 seats and over |
| Shows a night | Can be two, with the room turned between them | Usually one |
| The windows | Before the set, and as the room empties | On the way in, an interval if there is one, and the walk out |
| What the table needs | A short range and a fast reset | The tour poster and tee on show, and sellers enough for one rush |
Divini’s own dataThe two sizes are the bands Divini’s tour estimator uses, and it counts performances, not dates, because one date can be two shows. The other rows are how we plan a table, not measurements. · checked
When the show is phone-free
Some comedy shows lock every phone in a pouch at the door. Yondr, which makes the pouches, lists comedians among those it works for, and unlocks the pouches at the exits. One theatre group tells ticket holders to bring a card, because phone payments stop working once the phone is locked away.
Filed or disclosedSource: Yondr, Frequently Asked Questions, ATG Tickets, Phone-free shows in partnership with Yondr · checked
That changes the table. A code to scan does nothing, and the till has to take a card. Joining a mailing list, or collecting an order placed beforehand, has to happen before the pouch or at the exit. And nobody leaves with a photograph, so what they bought is what they have to show for the night.
A calendar tied to the special and the tour
A comedian’s year has dates a store can be planned around: the day the tour is announced, each leg of it, and the day the special comes out. Each is a reason to release something.
- A to · The spring leg
- B to · The autumn leg
- 1 · The tour is announced. The poster and tour tee go on sale
- 2 · The spring run is printed, seven weeks before the first date
- 3 · The special comes out. Its lines go on sale that day
- 4 · The autumn collection, two weeks before the leg
- 5 · The last date. What is left goes into the store
A sample year. No tour and no special is being announced.
Online, each order is printed after it is placed. So a line from the special can go on sale the day it comes out, with no stock bought on a guess, if the artwork was approved beforehand. The run for the table is printed six to eight weeks before the first date.
The figure nobody publishes
atVenu, which makes settlement software for merch tables, publishes an average spend per head: $10.24 in 2025. Its report breaks that down by sixteen genres. Comedy is not one of them.
We have found no figure for comedy anywhere else. So when we estimate a comedy tour the number is our own inference, and we say so: our estimator uses the figures it uses for a music show in a room of the same size, with no adjustment for comedy, and gives a range.
Not publicNo merch spend per head is published for comedy. · Source: atVenu, Artist Merchandise Trends of 2025 · checked
What can be measured
A store is public, so it can be measured. On 6 October 2026 we read the public product feeds of seventeen comedians’ official stores. They are the ones whose feeds were open to us, not a census, and we name none of them. The median store listed 21 products, and a quarter of its sizes and styles could not be bought that day. In seven of the seventeen it was more than a third. Nine listed something signed, seven a poster and two a mug.
Divini’s own dataDivini’s own reading of each store’s public product feed. Across the seventeen, 503 of 1,488 sizes and styles were unavailable; in the median store, 24.7%. · checked
22 of 89.
Divini’s own dataA comedian’s official store, read from its public product feed. It is the one at the median, it is not named, and it is not a client. · checked
Online, we print each order after it is placed, so the store holds no stock to run out.
The money
Nothing up front. There is no fee, no retainer and no minimum order. Online there is no stock for you to buy, and for a tour we buy the run and carry the risk on what does not sell. We are paid a share of the profit, and the split is put in writing before you sign. How we get paid sets out what counts as profit, line by line.
A theatre may charge a hall fee on what the table sells, so tell us which rooms are booked and what each charges. Tour and music merch shows how the fee is taken, on one night’s settlement.
Questions
Can you use lines from my special?
Usually, yes. The lines are your material. The special can be another matter: its title, its artwork, its stills and the recording may belong to the platform or the producer that made it, and the contract may say something about merchandise.
So tell us on the first call who made the special, and bring that clause if there is one. We design from the line itself, in new lettering, and nothing goes on sale until you have approved it.
What happens to my existing store?
It stays yours, and so does everything you already sell in it. We add new products only. We work inside the store you already run, added as a collaborator and never given your password. If you would rather have a separate store, we build one on your domain and pay for it.
If a merch company runs the store under a contract, tell us on the call whether an exclusivity is still running.
How many products should we start with?
Fewer than most stores carry. The sample range on our homepage is six pieces, priced from an impulse buy to the top of the range: a tee, a hoodie, a cap, a tote, a mug and a poster. atVenu reports that smaller product lines sell more a show than larger ones.
Filed or disclosedTrends We’re Seeing: “Smaller product lines continue to show a higher average in sales per show than larger product lines.” · Source: atVenu, Artist Merchandise Trends of 2025 · checked
We agree the first range with you. It grows by drops through the year, and not by a bigger first order.
Do you sell at clubs as well as theatres?
Yes. The range is the same in a club as in a theatre. What changes is who stands behind the table: a vending partner is chosen to fit the tour’s routing and room sizes, and staffs it.
If you already sell your own in clubs, keep doing it. What you sell there stays 100% yours, and we run the store beside it.
Book a call.
30 minutes with Oliver Weisfeld, who founded Divini and takes every first call himself.
Or email contact@divini.co.uk